Nature or Nurture

It has recently come to my attention that my son is very sweet and loving. I would imagine that all children his age are sweet, but Elliot seems to really care for people and animals. He has learned how to hug. We did not teach him this, other than by hugging him...a lot! What we did teach him was how to treat the dogs. Initially, we taught him how to "pat pat", so that he would pet the dogs instead of grabbing or hitting them. He took to that wonderfully. Most recently we taught him to "love" the dogs. This consists of putting his head down on them and essentially hugging them. Within the last month or so, we have asked for "huggies", especially before putting him to bed. He would respond by laying his head on our shoulder. That was his version of a hug.

As recent as last weekend, his method of "huggies" changed. I guess by either watching us or others, he now puts his arms around you and then puts his head on you. He does this to the dogs as well. This morning, he did it to a stuffed dog. Interestingly enough, the dog that he has is electronic and asks for a hug. Elliot took that as a cue to then grab the dog and put his head on it.

He understands how to be gentle. He can get a little rough with the dogs, grabbing ears or pulling on their faces, but if we say, "gentle" or "give Janie huggies", his demeanor changes and he is gentle again.

So I ask you - is this something that is inherently within him or is this something that he has learned. I'd like to think that my son is inherently sweet, he does come by it naturally (at least from Sam). I also am hopeful that we are teaching him how to be kind and gentle and loving. The concept of nature versus nurture is double edged. I of course want this to be nature, I want him to be born "good", but I also want him to be able to adapt and pick up on social cues, hence the nurture part. I also want to show him, as a good model for loving and caring, how to be "good". Maybe this is a chicken vs egg scenario - you can't have one without the other. He can't learn to be good unless he has some goodness as a base to build on (nature then nurture). Okay, enough philosophical rambling. The bottom line is - it warms my heart to watch my child hug things...and people, and dogs. It melts my heart when he puts his arms around my neck, lays his head on my shoulder and squeezes. It makes me so proud when he is gentle with the dogs. And it makes me laugh when he tries to hug inanimate objects.